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  • Wednesday, July 12, 2006

    The Sultan of Brunei's Private Jet

    Ahh the Sultan of Brunei.

    A man whose shoes most men would love to be in.

    A man who's the ruler of only a small country but has yet managed to get the attention and respect of the entire world, even meeting other great leaders in the past such as Bill Clinton.
    But how much do we know about this great man?

    Did you know that in spite of all his wealth, he lives a very modest life.

    Take for example the airplane that takes him around the world to do his duties as a World Leader.
    The very humble Sultan bought this Airbus 340 for roughly USD 220 Million RM99.90.
    Private jets are cheap nowadays right?

    Go to Parkson during the Grand Sale and you could probably get one for about RM79.99.

    Buy two free one some more.

    The RM99.90 plane comes fully equipped with a Gold Plated Sink which costs about 50 sen.

    (Gold is cheap nowadays right?)


    And with a beautiful toilet like that with so much space that you won't have to bother to
    "Return to your seat" whenever there's turbulence.


    And not only does that toilet come with a sink and a bidet but also with an AIRLOCK to allow you to exit the aircraft in other space without depressurizing the entire plane.

    (Yes.. that is an airlock.. not a shower).

    And of top of all these facilities... there is the most important perk of all...

    THE BED


    And not just one Queen-Sized bed.

    THERE ARE TWO OF THEM ON BOARD.

    Then there is every guy's wet dream...

    The electronics.

    On board phones, remote controls and buttons that probably do all sorts of things from turning on the TV to tickling your tummy or helping you scratch your a$$.


    And of course... since there could be reporters always wanting to do interviews with the great man, the plane comes equipped with a beautiful and spacious living room.

    Then by now you're probably wondering.

    "Aiyah, if all the rooms are so spacious then sure got no place to walk around the plane lar".

    Which is where you would be wrong.

    The plane comes equipped with a corridor for the Great Man to pace up and down when he ponders and thinks about the future of his country.
    All this for a mere RM99.90 (or RM79.99 at Parkson Grand).

    Such value for money... and such modesty.

    As for the me; the arrogant and much less modest Boss Stewie who's not afraid to indulge in my 'wealth', I will be going to bed tonight in my RM500 single bed (mattress included) in my 450 square-ft low cost housing flat worth RM30,000.

    Then when I wake up tomorrow I'm going to hop on my RM199.90 bicycle and cycle off to work where I will spend 8 hours plunging the shit out of toilets.

    I get paid a whopping RM2 for each toilet that I unblock.


    On a normal day I can unblock up to 50 toilets which means I take home RM100 (enough to buy a new private jet each day).

    Ah what a high-paying and prestigous job.

    WOOOHOOO!!
    Boy am I living in luxury.

    I bet everyone wishes they were in my shoes...

    (and for those of you who aren't... please don't be discouraged... work hard and you may one day have the joy of unplugging shit from toilets)

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